The rules for dating
Growing up, I knew of no other love stories than that of fairytales.I believed in and expected true, exciting love, in a modern sense, when I became old enough to experience such a thing.
This was the result of the fact that I suffered from a habit of wanting what I couldn’t have, because it was exciting, and because I never wanted to settle for what was “easy.”What’s worse, I was always attracted to stereotypical “assholes.” But, I wanted a “fairytale” so badly, I would accept and manipulate moments and people to fit into what could be “my fairytale.”How did I come to this conclusion?With the emergence texting, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, BBM, i Phones and online dating, Fein and Schneider have added extra tips and chapters to guide 'Rules' women through this type of communication and how to stick to The Rules.'Rules Girls', say Fein and Schneider are 'savvy women who know how to return texts and emails to a man without seeming desperate, how to maintain a cool Facebook profile without giving away too much and how to spot cheaters and players, and avoid them like the plague'.After a conversation with my friend where I explained to her the problems I was having in my love life — being led on, and fast-forwarding into relationships before giving them a chance to develop on their own — she asked me, have you read, “He’s Just Not That Into You? I had never heard of the book, and thought she was almost mocking me, but, as if to register my confusion in my flushed complexion, she smiled reassuringly and said, “Just trust me, I read it and it’s changed my whole outlook on men.”I was hesitant, but that night, I bought “He’s Just Not That Into You,” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, and I began to read.After a few days, upon completion of the book, I did feel like I learned things I never knew before, but the main lesson I seemed to take away from the book was, there are So, sure, love can still exist, and couples can live “happily ever after,” but you just have to lower your standards and settle for what you can get, without the excitement of “the chase,” that we all seem to be addicted to.I struggled with accepting this a lot, though, as it felt like this time might be different. For the first time, I felt what it was like to really connect to someone on a different level, and to truly mean it when I said, “This one is different.” It turns out, he may have thought the same thing.
I tried to think back to the times I had undoubtedly said that same thing before and was wrong, hoping it would derail my subconscious hope completely, but it still lingered there in the back of my head. We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. And just like that, I had broken the rule, this time, without even trying.
To the old-soul romantic stuck in the Millennial generation, this was like telling a 5-year-old that Santa Claus isn’t real the night before Christmas.
This isn’t to say I disagreed with the lessons I’d just learned, because, on the contrary, it was more fear that it was 100 percent true, and that’s a scary thought when the romanticized perception of love you possess gets outshone by a near-mathematical equation of it. I didn’t want to believe it was true that there were no exceptions to any of these rules.
It may not have been a traditional fairytale, but and strangely, I didn’t care anymore.
His friends, girls and guys, would ask me, “What did you do to him?
I didn’t want to believe you couldn’t change a person. It might not be the intended purpose, but typically, if a rule has been imposed, chances are that its also been broken.