Physicological implications of dating a younger man
God made sex to actually unite us and draw us together; He even gave us a bonding hormone that’s released at orgasm so that we’d feel closer. It isn’t just pictures of naked women like there used to be in Playboy; most is very violent, extremely degrading, and very ugly.But if that hormone is released when no one is present, it stops having its effects. “Regular” intercourse is actually not depicted that often in porn, and so quite frequently the person who watches porn starts to get a warped view of what sex really is. Because these things aren’t paired with sex in the porn users brain, tenderness and sex no longer go together.
It’s almost as if we approach sex as two different beings and we’re just using each other, rather than thinking of each other.But first we have to understand 10 ways that porn affects the brain, and thus wrecks many couples’ sex lives.And so today, on Top 10 Tuesday, I thought I’d share: Do you remember reading about Pavlov and his dog in Psychology?Eventually Pavlov took the food away, but kept ringing the bell. When it’s accompanied by orgasm (sexual release through masturbation), then a chemical reaction happens and hormones are released.The dog kept salivating at the bell, even though there was no steak, because the dog associated the bell with the food. In effect, our brains start to associate arousal with an image, an idea, or a video, rather than a person.Thus, sex becomes about the body, and not about intimacy.
In fact, the idea of being intimate isn’t even sexy anymore; anonymous is what’s sexy.
But after our honeymoon sex went to maybe twice a month, and that’s only if I pressure him.
He says he just isn’t interested.” With so many men growing up on porn, this is just to be expected. You don’t have to make any effort to arouse someone; it’s automatic. And so if your spouse isn’t aroused you start to think that it’s somehow their fault.
And thus we never learn how to please the other or become a good lover because we’re always thinking that the other is somehow “frigid”.
Sex is about getting my needs met; it isn’t about meeting someone else’s needs or experiencing something wonderful together.
In our culture porn is treated as if it’s harmless, but it’s not. Or their husbands call them boring or unattractive. Here’s the really devastating part: Because so much of what porn does to you happens chemically in the brain, the porn use doesn’t have to be going on NOW to have these effects.